There are days when I can conquer the world in a week and then there are the days when nothing gets done. Like this blog, I set out to write something once a week all year. I didn’t say it had to be written each week but just I wanted to write that many posts and so far it’s not been so good.
And once upon a time that wouldn’t have been okay. I would have had to get something down even if it was just something. But that kind of thinking didn’t really get me very far. I would feel guilty about not achieving my goals, there would be a huge amount of negative self talk and basically my mood would hit the floor and just keep going.
Oh yeah I would really lay into myself and mostly I didn’t and still don’t notice the atrocious things I would berate myself with. These days I may not be able to stop the immediate rant in my head but I can see more often when I have just let rip about how useless I am, or how I never achieve anything.
These days I try to head off the negative effects and counter act what is going on. Sometimes I am more successful than others but it is something I always try and do.
Sounds like good advice, yeah well it doesn’t always work. I don’t always notice and quite frankly there are days when just everything else is a problem and I just can’t be bothered to fight anymore. The fun thing is I read blogs, self help blogs to help give me ideas and motivate me, it doesn’t always work. In fact recently I’ve really hated those blogs.
They make everything sound so easy. The fact is that looking for advice when I feel overwhelmed is the wrong time. I know in my head that it doesn’t help but still I frantically try to be better. And to be honest it’s the last thing I need to do.
This is what I need to hear. I am okay as I am, I do not need to take on anything else right now and I will get there when I am ready. And in most cases I have been working so hard at being better that I have neglected to take some time out. Too busy to notice how many unpleasant things have happened. And this year to give myself time to grieve for the loss of pets and friends, the loss of a job and the changing circumstances in my life.
Unfortunately this hasn’t always stopped me from feeling I should be moving forward faster than I am. As an aside I am really good at setting impossible goals.
So I focus the part of me that would look after others onto myself. The part that looks and says, ‘is that reasonable’, because I forget to do it for myself. In the same way if someone else hasn’t achieved a goal I don’t have a go at them. I consider their circumstances and look at whether their goal was reasonable.
The reality is that some things are far harder than you might think and if it’s a case of going slower then it’s time to say so and slow down. Set different goals or at least cut yourself some slack for it not being done exactly as you had hoped.
Life is hard enough you don’t have to make it worse.
It doesn’t mean that you aren’t going to feel that you can. But what would say is if you are having trouble from guilty feelings, berating yourself over goals why do you feel that you need to do that? When have the words you hear been used before? Do you hear some ones voice saying it? Who said it originally?
I found it amazing to really notice what I was saying and realize that it wasn’t me. The words they weren’t mine, they really vicious and so loud and so constant but they weren’t mine originally.
Because the only thing that really matters is what you believe about you and though it is really hard finding out what you believe about yourself in those first moments could tell you something really important. Me I felt they were unjust, unfair and in some cases just a way to make the person saying them feel good. And though some of them were about what I had or hadn’t done a lot of them really weren’t.
Find out who you are, what you feel, what you felt back then when it all started because I found that I was released to become who I want to be.
And if you think I’ve made it and I am the person I want to be.
Forget it. I’m not there and to me I feel no one really is. You get to a place where you feel good and you say. Yeah I’ve done it. I’m well, I’m a good lawyer, I’m a good mother and you feel really good and then you stop thinking about being more than you are and you don’t notice that you continue to change. But you still change, we all do, it’s just nice when you don’t have to think about it every waking moment because you’re so far from where you want to be.
Become who you want to and don’t give up, take the time to do it right because some days you’re not going to be up for. In fact some weeks you’re not going to be that up for it but you will become who you want to.
And once upon a time that wouldn’t have been okay. I would have had to get something down even if it was just something. But that kind of thinking didn’t really get me very far. I would feel guilty about not achieving my goals, there would be a huge amount of negative self talk and basically my mood would hit the floor and just keep going.
Oh yeah I would really lay into myself and mostly I didn’t and still don’t notice the atrocious things I would berate myself with. These days I may not be able to stop the immediate rant in my head but I can see more often when I have just let rip about how useless I am, or how I never achieve anything.
These days I try to head off the negative effects and counter act what is going on. Sometimes I am more successful than others but it is something I always try and do.
Sounds like good advice, yeah well it doesn’t always work. I don’t always notice and quite frankly there are days when just everything else is a problem and I just can’t be bothered to fight anymore. The fun thing is I read blogs, self help blogs to help give me ideas and motivate me, it doesn’t always work. In fact recently I’ve really hated those blogs.
They make everything sound so easy. The fact is that looking for advice when I feel overwhelmed is the wrong time. I know in my head that it doesn’t help but still I frantically try to be better. And to be honest it’s the last thing I need to do.
This is what I need to hear. I am okay as I am, I do not need to take on anything else right now and I will get there when I am ready. And in most cases I have been working so hard at being better that I have neglected to take some time out. Too busy to notice how many unpleasant things have happened. And this year to give myself time to grieve for the loss of pets and friends, the loss of a job and the changing circumstances in my life.
Unfortunately this hasn’t always stopped me from feeling I should be moving forward faster than I am. As an aside I am really good at setting impossible goals.
So I focus the part of me that would look after others onto myself. The part that looks and says, ‘is that reasonable’, because I forget to do it for myself. In the same way if someone else hasn’t achieved a goal I don’t have a go at them. I consider their circumstances and look at whether their goal was reasonable.
The reality is that some things are far harder than you might think and if it’s a case of going slower then it’s time to say so and slow down. Set different goals or at least cut yourself some slack for it not being done exactly as you had hoped.
Life is hard enough you don’t have to make it worse.
It doesn’t mean that you aren’t going to feel that you can. But what would say is if you are having trouble from guilty feelings, berating yourself over goals why do you feel that you need to do that? When have the words you hear been used before? Do you hear some ones voice saying it? Who said it originally?
I found it amazing to really notice what I was saying and realize that it wasn’t me. The words they weren’t mine, they really vicious and so loud and so constant but they weren’t mine originally.
Because the only thing that really matters is what you believe about you and though it is really hard finding out what you believe about yourself in those first moments could tell you something really important. Me I felt they were unjust, unfair and in some cases just a way to make the person saying them feel good. And though some of them were about what I had or hadn’t done a lot of them really weren’t.
Find out who you are, what you feel, what you felt back then when it all started because I found that I was released to become who I want to be.
And if you think I’ve made it and I am the person I want to be.
Forget it. I’m not there and to me I feel no one really is. You get to a place where you feel good and you say. Yeah I’ve done it. I’m well, I’m a good lawyer, I’m a good mother and you feel really good and then you stop thinking about being more than you are and you don’t notice that you continue to change. But you still change, we all do, it’s just nice when you don’t have to think about it every waking moment because you’re so far from where you want to be.
Become who you want to and don’t give up, take the time to do it right because some days you’re not going to be up for. In fact some weeks you’re not going to be that up for it but you will become who you want to.
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