A while ago I was talking about the idea of group work for people with mental health issues and how I felt that although it may work for some mostly I find that groups are a really horrible proposition for most. As I put it, you are putting a bunch of people together in a room who’ve got very real trust issues on a grand scale in an unknown place with a bunch of strangers and expect them to work together just like that.
If you want to help people then they need to trust you and for my mind there are only very few situations in which forcing someone becomes a necessity so if you want to help then spend the time to gain their trust. Find out what is important to them, what they need and take it as slowly as they need unless you really do have no choice.
When she seemed surprised at my attitude I pointed out that when one the biggest risk factors for mental health issues is childhood trauma, such as abuse, neglect, emotional distance from loved ones, loss of loved ones etc. You’ve basically got a bunch of people whose trust has been betrayed on a grand scale by the people closest to them. The ones who are supposed to make sure that they are safe, fit and healthy and yet you expect that they can trust people with whom they have no connection whatsoever?!
The lady expressed surprise that she had never thought about it like that and so asked how I could be so sure and did I think this would apply to both psychiatric and psychological disorders.
And the reality is that I am not sure that it applies to everyone but my experience of group therapy and the stories that people have told of their lives leads me to conclude that actually regardless of diagnosis most people have quite large trust issues. They talk of abuse, of loneliness, of neglect. They show distrust of each other and feel that people lie, that doctors are only out for themselves which is why they push pills, they feel that people don’t listen, don’t care, won’t help, won’t spend the time to understand. They ask questions of people and then don’t believe the answers, people have an agenda. As I said to her, all you have to do is listen to them. I mean really listen to them and you can hear how much they distrust people and quite frankly who can blame them. Tales of abuse, neglect, loneliness, great fear and terror who would trust anyone after that?
I guess what I find strange is that I had always assumed that it was obvious to everyone but I guess not and although I feel most people won’t think about it, this particular person worked with people with mental health issues which I feel makes it all the more surprising that she hadn’t thought about it.
It made me wonder just how often people working within the industry think about how important building trust really is in the process of recovery but also how damaging to people trusting others it is if things don’t go well. I’ve heard a lot of people talk over the years and I can’t stand it, I can’t stand to hear how so many children’s trust was betrayed by the people closest to them. I can’t stand to feel that they weren’t helped before they became ill.
To me genetics are only part of the battle and early development has a very important part to play in whether people become ill or not but that doesn’t mean that I feel it is possible to stop all illness before it starts. I just feel that to trust and to be able to trust others is so very important for people.
Forget stigma, forget prejudice, if you can’t trust that people are going to help you when you ask for it then it’s going to be a hell of a hard journey for you to get help.
So when I hear medical professionals complaining about compliance of patients I tend to shake my head and I ask myself why and I would like them to do the same. Because I sat in front of a psychiatrist once and got told if I didn’t take the medication provided then she wouldn’t help me. And I as I said to her. I didn’t say I wouldn’t take any medication I just said I wouldn’t take one that had so many side effects that they were limiting my life. Patients are not always a pain because they don’t want to get well or because they are lazy either and quite frankly it doesn’t get better. I’ve had psychiatrists question whether side effects such as weight gain are a really a big problem and as I said to them. I think gaining three stone in as many months is a big problem. They kind of agreed but the point is this that when you don’t trust someone it can be very hard to argue your point. If you’re used to people who when thwarted just lash out and there are many more ways peoples trust can be materially damaged making life extremely difficult.The lady expressed surprise that she had never thought about it like that and so asked how I could be so sure and did I think this would apply to both psychiatric and psychological disorders.
And the reality is that I am not sure that it applies to everyone but my experience of group therapy and the stories that people have told of their lives leads me to conclude that actually regardless of diagnosis most people have quite large trust issues. They talk of abuse, of loneliness, of neglect. They show distrust of each other and feel that people lie, that doctors are only out for themselves which is why they push pills, they feel that people don’t listen, don’t care, won’t help, won’t spend the time to understand. They ask questions of people and then don’t believe the answers, people have an agenda. As I said to her, all you have to do is listen to them. I mean really listen to them and you can hear how much they distrust people and quite frankly who can blame them. Tales of abuse, neglect, loneliness, great fear and terror who would trust anyone after that?
I guess what I find strange is that I had always assumed that it was obvious to everyone but I guess not and although I feel most people won’t think about it, this particular person worked with people with mental health issues which I feel makes it all the more surprising that she hadn’t thought about it.
It made me wonder just how often people working within the industry think about how important building trust really is in the process of recovery but also how damaging to people trusting others it is if things don’t go well. I’ve heard a lot of people talk over the years and I can’t stand it, I can’t stand to hear how so many children’s trust was betrayed by the people closest to them. I can’t stand to feel that they weren’t helped before they became ill.
To me genetics are only part of the battle and early development has a very important part to play in whether people become ill or not but that doesn’t mean that I feel it is possible to stop all illness before it starts. I just feel that to trust and to be able to trust others is so very important for people.
Forget stigma, forget prejudice, if you can’t trust that people are going to help you when you ask for it then it’s going to be a hell of a hard journey for you to get help.
If you want to help people then they need to trust you and for my mind there are only very few situations in which forcing someone becomes a necessity so if you want to help then spend the time to gain their trust. Find out what is important to them, what they need and take it as slowly as they need unless you really do have no choice.
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