There are days now when I feel very much that I am being held back by the assumptions that are made about me. People see me a certain way and assume how I will react or what I am capable of and don’t even think to ask or consult with me about things and it can really grate after a while.
I don’t know if you’ve had the same experience but it can become very wearing but the sad fact is that it can be annoying when people make the wrong assumptions without them so much time could be used up making sure that we are on the right track, that we do have the right idea that really we all have to make assumptions for the world to turn and for life to continue at a reasonable pace. But I guess really the problem isn’t with making assumptions but with making reasonable ones or at least having an understanding of the fact that you have made an assumption and you may not correct.
I’ve always felt that some people have made some really weird assumptions about life or people or situations and I don’t get why. In fact so much so that when exasperated I have asked them why would you think that?
I guess it has taken me a long time to come to terms with the vast array of differences that people have and to try and get to grips with what, I have a reasonable grasp on, and what I really don’t.There is so much I still don’t have a grasp on that I still feel the need to ask and to explore why people react the way they do when it isn’t as I expect and I guess I feel that others don't do this.
Now there is no way to stop people making assumptions and really it isn't always necessary or practicable but it seems to me that if you are in a position where it could really change the outcome for another person it would be nice if a small amount of explanation as to what you see as the problem or the assumptions you are making happens because it can be really frustrating/ frightening to sit on the other side of this and feel that the person will just decide things based on what has been said when a simple sentence could convey a completely different meaning to the person they are communication with than the person intended. It could in fact convey a lot more seriousness or a lot less and this can make a huge difference to the outcome of the conversation.
And I for one would rather people take the time to check than go blindly on with an assumption, even though it might seem really clear cut to them about what has been meant, because I have certainly found that people really just don’t get it when it comes to my emotions. In fact given the number of people I have spoken to about the fact that they don’t feel heard either, it seems that this is such a common problem when it comes to mental health that it would probably be a really good idea if everyone took a quick look at what they assume when people don’t react as they expected them too. Because if you never examine your assumptions by getting other peoples view points how can you ever know if your assumption was reasonable or whether to investigate what was going on further?
I would also urge people who work with people with mental health issues all the time against feeling like you’ve had enough experience to know because most of the time you get what you expect because as I have found out. You may get the behaviour/opinion expressed that you expect but it might not be because you may have made a correct assumption about why they behaved that way/ expressed what they did.
People are funny and there will always be the few you will never be able to understand but the question for me is do any of us ask ourselves enough if we are making too many assumptions when dealing with mental health?
I don’t know if you’ve had the same experience but it can become very wearing but the sad fact is that it can be annoying when people make the wrong assumptions without them so much time could be used up making sure that we are on the right track, that we do have the right idea that really we all have to make assumptions for the world to turn and for life to continue at a reasonable pace. But I guess really the problem isn’t with making assumptions but with making reasonable ones or at least having an understanding of the fact that you have made an assumption and you may not correct.
I’ve always felt that some people have made some really weird assumptions about life or people or situations and I don’t get why. In fact so much so that when exasperated I have asked them why would you think that?
I guess it has taken me a long time to come to terms with the vast array of differences that people have and to try and get to grips with what, I have a reasonable grasp on, and what I really don’t.There is so much I still don’t have a grasp on that I still feel the need to ask and to explore why people react the way they do when it isn’t as I expect and I guess I feel that others don't do this.
So why is it important to question it if we all make assumptions?
I guess because I find it rather strange that people don’t question things more and instead just seem to go blindly on with what they thought regardless of the experience they have just had because there are circumstances such as dealing with the NHS or employers or in group therapy where the assumptions can have a really big impact on what happens next and how people deal with things.Now there is no way to stop people making assumptions and really it isn't always necessary or practicable but it seems to me that if you are in a position where it could really change the outcome for another person it would be nice if a small amount of explanation as to what you see as the problem or the assumptions you are making happens because it can be really frustrating/ frightening to sit on the other side of this and feel that the person will just decide things based on what has been said when a simple sentence could convey a completely different meaning to the person they are communication with than the person intended. It could in fact convey a lot more seriousness or a lot less and this can make a huge difference to the outcome of the conversation.
And I for one would rather people take the time to check than go blindly on with an assumption, even though it might seem really clear cut to them about what has been meant, because I have certainly found that people really just don’t get it when it comes to my emotions. In fact given the number of people I have spoken to about the fact that they don’t feel heard either, it seems that this is such a common problem when it comes to mental health that it would probably be a really good idea if everyone took a quick look at what they assume when people don’t react as they expected them too. Because if you never examine your assumptions by getting other peoples view points how can you ever know if your assumption was reasonable or whether to investigate what was going on further?
I would also urge people who work with people with mental health issues all the time against feeling like you’ve had enough experience to know because most of the time you get what you expect because as I have found out. You may get the behaviour/opinion expressed that you expect but it might not be because you may have made a correct assumption about why they behaved that way/ expressed what they did.
People are funny and there will always be the few you will never be able to understand but the question for me is do any of us ask ourselves enough if we are making too many assumptions when dealing with mental health?
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