There are days when I am just grateful for having a life no matter what is happening in it or how I feel about it, I am alive and that means that good things could happen. Things that make me laugh, make me feel invincible, confident, worthwhile or just plain fantastic. There are so many things that have a good effect on my mood and lift my spirits it can be easy to forget when things get bad that tomorrow brings something different. No one’s life is easy and although so much of the time bad things are happening it is always good to remember the good, the things that make you smile, the things you have achieved and where you have come from and where you want to get to.
For me to live is about plodding along, about making decisions and doing the next thing but I know some days that next thing can feel so overwhelming or painful that life seems too much and you or I might want to not be here at all. I guess I have my fingers crossed that if that time comes that something drives us on to find how to get through it rather than to stop trying.
I found myself recently wondering how I got through, how I found my own way out of the pain and though I wish I had some pearls of wisdom I simply do not know how I did it. I know that I kept plodding on, I know I kept trying different things, taking advice and telling some people to sod off when I felt they had no clue, but mostly I just did something and when I look back I realise that there was no clear path. I had always felt that there should be one and lately I’ve begun to feel that this was a childish idea of what life was like or maybe just naïve. But having doubted all my life that I had a clue what I was doing I have refrained from offering too much advice that adheres to this, do this, or try this this is really good because quite frankly what works for me could be a complete waste of time for you.
This doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be good to try but just that I’m not saying it will work. I have often felt that most people just want to know that something is going to work before they will try and then get horribly disappointed if it doesn’t so I just can’t bring myself to say yeah this is really good!
You can know you need support but in all likelihood you will have very little idea about what that means in practical or emotional terms and getting it is about trying this or that, this service or this person, how you think about stuff or about forgiveness. There are so many twists and turns and nuances that it will be a battle. A battle that will often feel overwhelming or maybe that you are going backwards or even racing forwards, stopping and starting. It will be complicated and intricate and I would think never obvious, you will try things that don’t work, things that may make you worse and you will have to endure more than you thought you could but I have my fingers crossed that whatever you do, you make it to the other side because it is worth it.
And you may feel that this is unhelpful or lacking hope but for me it is quite the opposite. Because what I see everyday is everyone, whether healthy or not, doing exactly the same thing. Just trying to make their life a happier life than what they currently have. Some looking for help, some trying something new, others clinging to their hopes, services, friends, or family for support, some crawling into a pit to lick their wounds, hurting themselves or others, people just trying to find what works for them in the ever changing environment. But what I also see is the joy, happiness, hope, elation, the small moments where things are great, where people laugh together. Where people cry together or share an achievement. I see little moments where life is fantastic and although they are small, enough of them and your life, their lives feel so good.
Finding your way is what’s important because that is the one that will give you the most satisfaction, happiness and joy, everyone elses will not be quite what you need no matter how close it is so go and find what you need. Find what makes you tick, what makes you laugh, gives you encouragement because we all need what we need, how we need it. To feel Loved, hopeful, safe, encouraged, self assured etc.
For me to live is about plodding along, about making decisions and doing the next thing but I know some days that next thing can feel so overwhelming or painful that life seems too much and you or I might want to not be here at all. I guess I have my fingers crossed that if that time comes that something drives us on to find how to get through it rather than to stop trying.
I found myself recently wondering how I got through, how I found my own way out of the pain and though I wish I had some pearls of wisdom I simply do not know how I did it. I know that I kept plodding on, I know I kept trying different things, taking advice and telling some people to sod off when I felt they had no clue, but mostly I just did something and when I look back I realise that there was no clear path. I had always felt that there should be one and lately I’ve begun to feel that this was a childish idea of what life was like or maybe just naïve. But having doubted all my life that I had a clue what I was doing I have refrained from offering too much advice that adheres to this, do this, or try this this is really good because quite frankly what works for me could be a complete waste of time for you.
This doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be good to try but just that I’m not saying it will work. I have often felt that most people just want to know that something is going to work before they will try and then get horribly disappointed if it doesn’t so I just can’t bring myself to say yeah this is really good!
Silly maybe, but I got a lot less disappointed if I started from the stand point that it might not. I always wanted to have an idea of how likely it was to help and for me that works…
But I guess what I want to point out is that getting from A to B, when it comes to mental health, isn’t about the straight line distance between the two points, it isn’t about the difficulties you know of or the triggers that you know of or even what you want to achieve. It’s about everything else that happens when you start trying or even that you don’t start trying.You can know you need support but in all likelihood you will have very little idea about what that means in practical or emotional terms and getting it is about trying this or that, this service or this person, how you think about stuff or about forgiveness. There are so many twists and turns and nuances that it will be a battle. A battle that will often feel overwhelming or maybe that you are going backwards or even racing forwards, stopping and starting. It will be complicated and intricate and I would think never obvious, you will try things that don’t work, things that may make you worse and you will have to endure more than you thought you could but I have my fingers crossed that whatever you do, you make it to the other side because it is worth it.
And you may feel that this is unhelpful or lacking hope but for me it is quite the opposite. Because what I see everyday is everyone, whether healthy or not, doing exactly the same thing. Just trying to make their life a happier life than what they currently have. Some looking for help, some trying something new, others clinging to their hopes, services, friends, or family for support, some crawling into a pit to lick their wounds, hurting themselves or others, people just trying to find what works for them in the ever changing environment. But what I also see is the joy, happiness, hope, elation, the small moments where things are great, where people laugh together. Where people cry together or share an achievement. I see little moments where life is fantastic and although they are small, enough of them and your life, their lives feel so good.
Finding your way is what’s important because that is the one that will give you the most satisfaction, happiness and joy, everyone elses will not be quite what you need no matter how close it is so go and find what you need. Find what makes you tick, what makes you laugh, gives you encouragement because we all need what we need, how we need it. To feel Loved, hopeful, safe, encouraged, self assured etc.
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