Don’t take it so personally

Well it’s Christmas and much as I feel like taking some time off part of me is still pushing to write something.

I wish I could be many things, but mainly I wish I could feel less right now, however this is my life and there is little I can do to change it. With so much going on I find it important to remind myself of my human-ness; my inarticulate words, bumbling and often ill-informed views that cause offence, scare people and generally disenchant myself from those around me and to remind myself that I am not alone that everyone else is just like me.

 I am bi polar but still everyone else is like me, they feel in a similar way, not as extreme but still pretty much the same and I take comfort from that because much as I cause offence and upset people so does everyone else and it is something that we all forget from time to time. We are none of us infallible, none of us are always articulate or inoffensive and we all say and do things that are ill advised, or plain stupid, and we all have to live with them, no matter how much we regret them. So why is it that when someone is not as they might like or want to be we tend to be so intolerant and judgmental? It seems strange that we can forgive many things but we wish to make some of them examples. We fight battles that are actually not ours to fight and become offended by things that were not directed at us?  It seems that so much of what I read is either ill-advised or judgmental and to be honest it something I am rather bad at too, I wish that I wasn't.

For years I have referred to myself and others as a bit mad, a little crazy, or a bit nutty and have never felt that it meant anything other than a bit different and now I am told it is not acceptable to do so just in case I offend someone like myself who’s mentally ill. I don’t get it.  There are so many things that I have said over the years that people are now saying is offensive and yet to me it is not a slur. The list of common sayings that are now considered derisive grows by the second. So I am brought back to this feeling that people shouldn’t take it so personally and  much as I never understood it I am becoming very acquainted with the feeling that it’s impossible to say anything that will not offend despite not ever intending it to be so.

It seems we can all jump on the mental health bandwagon and believe it means me when actually it doesn't, when people talk about my diagnosis it means everyone I know will believe that actually whatever is said by them can be applied to me exactly.  

Not only that I have seen people complain about celebrities who have tried to give hope and have it ripped from their grasp by people who as far as I am concerned really don’t have any more of a clue. I am still amazed at so many bloggers and so many opinions that contradict and yet it seems the people writing them think we are talking with one voice, with the same information that’s accurate and it’s just not.

For instance today I saw a blog that clearly stated that bipolar disorder is a chemical imbalance of the brain and that work place stress would not bring on a phase and was horrified. I have had people say it’s completely controllable and also been horrified but still I say it’s not that big a deal. We all have an opinion and some will be accurate and some will have no foundation in science, some will be someone’s experience and some will be a piecemeal belief of what happened but still why such a big deal. It’s just an opinion.

It seems that everyone is so reactive and continually see the bad without even stopping to think what might have been intended. People have then ripped others to shreds without a thought. A little compassion and empathy please, we are all people and what may sound good in our heads is not always so good when it is said. Equally what we may believe now may not stay that way and in a few years to come it may be completely different. Holding it over their heads for an eternity is not a great thing in my book.

None of us has all the answers, nor the ability to always get it right; yet we are all so very keen on jumping in and correcting, chastising and generally being unforgiving of others mistakes. Couldn't we all give it a rest for just a little while? I could certainly do with it.

For all our sakes I would wish this Christmas that people at least try to stop taking everything so personally and start thinking about what others might be trying to say.