So today has got to be one the darkest we’ve had and as a consequence to me it has felt quite dismal. I don’t like the dark and quite frankly I find December a really difficult month. I have no enthusiasm and no motivation and I find it hard to concentrate. I just want to curl up on the sofa with a movie or two or maybe all of ‘love film’ and wait it out until Jan arrives and light returns.
You might think I have seasonally affecting disorder, but I don’t, I’m just sensitive to the lack of light and really ignoring the problem and carrying on regardless just makes me really miserable. In the last few years I have tried to stop the carrying on regardless idea, where I ignore how I feel or my lack of motivation like it will go away if I try hard enough. It doesn’t, if anything it is so much worse because then I just feel all the worse for not being my usual self instead being sensitive to my feelings.
So first things first I say December is hard, it’s dark and dismal and give myself leave to just reduce what I do, how much I go out and how much I try and achieve. For one month it’s not that important to not be in full steam ahead mode really so I don’t.
Secondly I try and find as many opportunities to get out into what light there is as I can, to soak it up and enjoy it. With the rain and bad weather this is not always a nice experience so this year I’m also putting on the lamp I bought to cultivate seedlings in my rather dark home. It’s the right kind of light simulating sunlight. It’s not much really, but it’s like I can feel the difference in my skin, like being warmed and though it’s nowhere near as good a nice sunlight that is designed for seasonal affecting disorder, it was nowhere near the price either. It may be totally imaginary but it just feels better to have something bright on.
Then there is also the keeping busy in the dark periods after sunset to keep me going in the evenings. It might seem strange to say I have made a Christmas cake and chocolate brownies but really giving me something to concentrate on so I don’t notice the outside is good for me, plus I have something to show for it at the end that did take that long either. I have coupled this with the sun light and I have gained some contentment as I have achieved something by what I have been doing and my body has gotten some exposure to what it was missing (Sunlight) and I have not been dwelling on the time of year and imagining how horrible it is outside. I don’t need to know.
Just a few simple things and I am feeling more human and less miserable. The sad fact is that for many these simple things really aren’t going to change the low mood that settles in when the light quotient is as low as it often is at this time of year. I am lucky that it doesn’t affect me badly however there are days when I crawl out of bed onto the sofa, crawl under a duvet, turn the TV on, grab hold of my tablet and stay there all day. I know it will end and I know that despite my lack of spark, the equinox is very soon and then every day is getting longer. I find it odd really that Christmas is the big thing and the reason for a party, when for me the 21 of December is a much worthier choice for celebration.
From there on in each day is longer and for me every minute counts. So if you’re feeling low don’t ignore it maybe all you need is to give yourself a break, get some sunshine, do something creative and you’ll feel that bit better or maybe not but isn’t it worth a try. Why knock yourself out trying to be everything or chastise yourself for not wanting to be full steam ahead, is it really a big deal. I certainly don’t think so we all go through flat periods. Obviously if it really is a big deal then you have my sympathies I find it hard enough and I am only lightly affected.
You might think I have seasonally affecting disorder, but I don’t, I’m just sensitive to the lack of light and really ignoring the problem and carrying on regardless just makes me really miserable. In the last few years I have tried to stop the carrying on regardless idea, where I ignore how I feel or my lack of motivation like it will go away if I try hard enough. It doesn’t, if anything it is so much worse because then I just feel all the worse for not being my usual self instead being sensitive to my feelings.
So first things first I say December is hard, it’s dark and dismal and give myself leave to just reduce what I do, how much I go out and how much I try and achieve. For one month it’s not that important to not be in full steam ahead mode really so I don’t.
Secondly I try and find as many opportunities to get out into what light there is as I can, to soak it up and enjoy it. With the rain and bad weather this is not always a nice experience so this year I’m also putting on the lamp I bought to cultivate seedlings in my rather dark home. It’s the right kind of light simulating sunlight. It’s not much really, but it’s like I can feel the difference in my skin, like being warmed and though it’s nowhere near as good a nice sunlight that is designed for seasonal affecting disorder, it was nowhere near the price either. It may be totally imaginary but it just feels better to have something bright on.
Then there is also the keeping busy in the dark periods after sunset to keep me going in the evenings. It might seem strange to say I have made a Christmas cake and chocolate brownies but really giving me something to concentrate on so I don’t notice the outside is good for me, plus I have something to show for it at the end that did take that long either. I have coupled this with the sun light and I have gained some contentment as I have achieved something by what I have been doing and my body has gotten some exposure to what it was missing (Sunlight) and I have not been dwelling on the time of year and imagining how horrible it is outside. I don’t need to know.
Just a few simple things and I am feeling more human and less miserable. The sad fact is that for many these simple things really aren’t going to change the low mood that settles in when the light quotient is as low as it often is at this time of year. I am lucky that it doesn’t affect me badly however there are days when I crawl out of bed onto the sofa, crawl under a duvet, turn the TV on, grab hold of my tablet and stay there all day. I know it will end and I know that despite my lack of spark, the equinox is very soon and then every day is getting longer. I find it odd really that Christmas is the big thing and the reason for a party, when for me the 21 of December is a much worthier choice for celebration.
From there on in each day is longer and for me every minute counts. So if you’re feeling low don’t ignore it maybe all you need is to give yourself a break, get some sunshine, do something creative and you’ll feel that bit better or maybe not but isn’t it worth a try. Why knock yourself out trying to be everything or chastise yourself for not wanting to be full steam ahead, is it really a big deal. I certainly don’t think so we all go through flat periods. Obviously if it really is a big deal then you have my sympathies I find it hard enough and I am only lightly affected.
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