How many times have I heard this…probably millions and really all I have heard from my own head is. ‘Well you might but I sure don’t’
And in the past I have certainly been upset with what I looked on as a lack of understanding of me and that I haven’t coped, that when I just carried on things just got worse not better and their saying ‘you just cope’ has felt like quite a smack around the face. It’s almost like they are saying ‘Oh please it’s just so simple you just get on with stuff, do stuff and it’s all okay.’ Well I certainly wasn’t.
The problem is that as I look around me I see that people have melt downs and nervous breakdowns and panic attacks and burn out through stress and since clearly there are a lot people in a lot of situations who ‘Just don’t cope’ I cannot understand how the person saying this to me hasn’t realised that it is rather a silly thing to say. In so many ways it’s quite laughable.
The reality is that as time has gone on and I have asked more questions of people it seems that actually although people say ‘oh you just cope’, ‘you just deal’ they don’t really have a clue what they do to reduce their stress or calm their nerves or comfort themselves, in reality they seem to have no clue what kind of things they do at all.
So these days I have this almost pitying feeling towards the person in front of me who says well you just get on with it, but also I worry because in reality I was just like them, I felt that you just did cope, you just did stuff and it would all get better, until it didn’t.
I might add that since I started having issues when I was quite young I feel somewhat vindicated by my youth, in reality I was just as oblivious of what went into staying emotionally healthy as I feel they are. I was, and quite often still am guilty of staying ignorant of my emotions and the things I do to cope. But for me it does beg the question of whether people are ignorant or just choose to not talk about exactly what they do to stay healthy and I still wonder if this isn’t a problem.
Of course I don’t know that people are ignorant at all but when so many people skip over what they do to reduce their stress or calm themselves and appear to ignore their feelings I wonder particularly as they never seem to have any suggestions for me about what I could do to help myself.
I feel we are all on a bit of knife edge and although those who have managed to stay healthy are quite a lot more likely to stay that way than myself, who’s had lots of problems, I do wonder whether this is a good position to be in…Ignorance…because at what point do you seek help, when does anyone seek help if you believe that there is nothing that should or could be done until you are severely ill?
Maybe I think too much, but it does kind of worry me…seriously at what point are you going to say to yourself hey I might need a bit of help here? or will you carry on until you want to kill yourself or are taking so many risks or spending so much money or starving yourself or whatever…
I guess I find it frustrating that so many people are living in bliss while I am struggling along finding ways to cope and all the while having people around me saying silly things like
‘There’s nothing to be scared of so just get on with it’
Or ‘It’s not going to kill you so get on with it’
So please have a think about it, about what you do when you are having problems and have a care for those who are having to deal with a lot more and how what you say might sound to them or at the very least don’t be so offended if the person isn’t grateful or gives you attitude.
And in the past I have certainly been upset with what I looked on as a lack of understanding of me and that I haven’t coped, that when I just carried on things just got worse not better and their saying ‘you just cope’ has felt like quite a smack around the face. It’s almost like they are saying ‘Oh please it’s just so simple you just get on with stuff, do stuff and it’s all okay.’ Well I certainly wasn’t.
The problem is that as I look around me I see that people have melt downs and nervous breakdowns and panic attacks and burn out through stress and since clearly there are a lot people in a lot of situations who ‘Just don’t cope’ I cannot understand how the person saying this to me hasn’t realised that it is rather a silly thing to say. In so many ways it’s quite laughable.
The reality is that as time has gone on and I have asked more questions of people it seems that actually although people say ‘oh you just cope’, ‘you just deal’ they don’t really have a clue what they do to reduce their stress or calm their nerves or comfort themselves, in reality they seem to have no clue what kind of things they do at all.
So these days I have this almost pitying feeling towards the person in front of me who says well you just get on with it, but also I worry because in reality I was just like them, I felt that you just did cope, you just did stuff and it would all get better, until it didn’t.
I might add that since I started having issues when I was quite young I feel somewhat vindicated by my youth, in reality I was just as oblivious of what went into staying emotionally healthy as I feel they are. I was, and quite often still am guilty of staying ignorant of my emotions and the things I do to cope. But for me it does beg the question of whether people are ignorant or just choose to not talk about exactly what they do to stay healthy and I still wonder if this isn’t a problem.
Of course I don’t know that people are ignorant at all but when so many people skip over what they do to reduce their stress or calm themselves and appear to ignore their feelings I wonder particularly as they never seem to have any suggestions for me about what I could do to help myself.
I feel we are all on a bit of knife edge and although those who have managed to stay healthy are quite a lot more likely to stay that way than myself, who’s had lots of problems, I do wonder whether this is a good position to be in…Ignorance…because at what point do you seek help, when does anyone seek help if you believe that there is nothing that should or could be done until you are severely ill?
Maybe I think too much, but it does kind of worry me…seriously at what point are you going to say to yourself hey I might need a bit of help here? or will you carry on until you want to kill yourself or are taking so many risks or spending so much money or starving yourself or whatever…
I guess I find it frustrating that so many people are living in bliss while I am struggling along finding ways to cope and all the while having people around me saying silly things like
‘There’s nothing to be scared of so just get on with it’
Or ‘It’s not going to kill you so get on with it’
So please have a think about it, about what you do when you are having problems and have a care for those who are having to deal with a lot more and how what you say might sound to them or at the very least don’t be so offended if the person isn’t grateful or gives you attitude.
They may be making a hell of lot more effort to stay healthy than you are and have a much better idea of what helps them than you do and you could come across as very harsh.
No comments:
Post a Comment