The Christmas crisis

Well December has started and now the rush for Christmas and all things Christmassy has begun in earnest. On the 1^st, no less, I attended a Christmas party and was somewhat horrified at its earliness having felt there was still plenty of time for all that later. Apparently not and bookings had been made and this season of good will is becoming far too protracted and seems to be demanding far more from me than it ever did when I was a child .

 I see the papers, internet and media are all talking about how bad Christmas is for people with mental health issues and how the suicide rate goes up something you might know I’m not entirely convinced of. That this time of year is uniquely stressful I don’t doubt and that it contrives for most a sense of stress and low mood is seemingly well known. To be honest I find it somewhat insulting that it is the only time of year when everyone understands and therefore talks about it. Not that I think for one moment that have grasped anything other than the tip of the iceberg and sadly I feel this more because of most peoples indifference/ not understanding throughout the rest of the year although it has to be said after reinforcing the problems I have for many years I have far fewer now than I ever have had.

So what is so bad about Christmas that people are not getting?

You might wonder since everyone feels it, and yes everyone does feel the need for money they don’t have, the end of year low and non-achievement through the year, the need to see people they don’t want to, the loneliness of there not being people through death or distance, the present buying and gift giving, the cooking for others and social partying and many other things besides however it seems that although people talk about depression and suicide they don’t seem to grasped all the problems.

For instance the need to party, to see people and socialize with those you wouldn’t normally. I think most people might find some of it a chore but do they really get how devastating it can be to be expected to do things that would cause so much anxiety because of the environment being new or different, to looking good, to making small talk, to having alcohol or food to excess and having to control oneself.

We may all wish to be slimmer or prettier but we don’t all suffer from body dismorphic  disorder, we  may all wish to drink less but we are not all alcoholics, eat less, not feel socially awkward and such but again most do not have huge issues. And Christmas is a time when there are far more functions that you are expected to attend and much as you can say no and not go it is much less acceptable to people when you do that.  People accept that money is always an issue but it becomes far harder to explain if you have problems with large groups of noisy people, or going places you’ve not been before, going out at night etc. and I think it is about time people thought about some of these issues as well. Yes Christmas really is a bad time but it doesn’t have to be.

Although many places/ families/ people are wising up to how lonely and stressful Christmas can be it seems they are missing the specifics of big picture and I feel it is the severity of the problems that are going un-noticed. I found some statistics about Christmas from 2004 

We’ve pretty much all heard statistics on excess drinking, drink driving and over spending but something you might not know

One third more incidents of domestic assault on Christmas day than the daily average (not necessarily linked to alcohol) from here

Not surprised?

I can’t say that I am, Christmas is a time when we are all pushed into contact with family, friends and colleagues and it is expected that we will eat and drink far more than we would normally, for some reason it seems we push ourselves to party and be sociable when we really are not up for it.

I vote for quieter Christmases and doing more of what we want and less of what we feel expected to. I would also like to point out that if the Samaritans are saying that there is 28% rise in phone calls to them in Jan that actually more should be done for the after Christmas slump. The time when all the spending of money, eating, drinking and what’s been said and done starts to play on peoples minds.

The fact is that Christmas would be a whole lot easier if there was a bit more understanding and there wasn’t so much expected of you. It seems that is designed to be a huge and tragically painful time of  year for so many and it would be nice if the people who skim over it with looking at their own problems and not considering how much worse it is for those with more severe problems could ease up on their expectations.
I for one would vote for staying at home, eating pizza in my pyjamas and watching some decent TV, going to the occasional party with good friends/family where I can be home in my own bed for a good nights sleep after and sending all my presents through the post. Blimey I think I’m getting old! Yet I am still going to out several parties, travelling several hundred miles, and visiting far more people in a short space of time than I do at any other time of year.